Have you ever found an old photo album or an old photo file on your computer and just looked at the photos you forgot you had? Have you ever found an old notebook or even your primary school books?
What feeling do you get from that? Do you get a sense of proudness because you can look back at that and say that’s the reason why I am here today? or do you feel regret, embarrassment or feeling sorry for yourself?
This is me when I was 6 years old (I think…). Now when you look at this photo, do you think I feel happy because that was the start of my education and the start of who I am now? Or do you think it’s just a photo of when I was 6 and it made no difference in my life?
In all honestly, this photo makes me happy because it shows I was happy as a little kid. It shows I had a good and happy childhood.
But what about this picture?
This is me when I was 15. Same question applies, do you think I feel happy when I look at this or do I feel embarrassed and regret?
I may be smiling in the photo, but in reality there was pain behind that smile. That year was the most difficult year I had faced so far. I had an eating disorder, I had anxiety and I was struggling with life. So when I look at this photo I feel embarrassed and regret.
When I was 6 years old, nothing in the world bothered me. I wasn’t worried about anything or anyone, I could live a happy childhood. But when I was 15, I couldn’t let go of things that had happened, things had that ended. I was hanging on to the past hoping and praying it will all go back to normal. But it didn’t so I got more and more hurt and my life became unhealthier and grew worse.
Eventually, after a year or so, I was back to my normal self but I still thinking about what had happened and why everything went wrong.
There’s a verse in the bible from Philippians that says forget what’s in the past and focus on the things ahead.
“Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead…” – Philippians 3:13
There will come a time in your life, whether your a girl or a guy, where something will happened and you will try and hold on to it as long as you can. It may be a relationship has ended, it may be a friend has gone or it may be something completely different. But are we expected to live with this feeling, well that’s what I thought.
What we need to do is to stop, step back and look at the bigger picture. My theory now is everything happens for a reason. God planned this to happen so maybe there’s something bigger and better coming your way? No one knows but God. But any situations in your life will only ever be temporary, the feeling you feel will go if you let it. It’s time to look at the future and the present and be excited for what is to come, and stop thinking and reliving the past. God has your life in His hands and He still has a massive plan for you!